butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize