You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
