She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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