My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
