Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
