What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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