Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
