My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
