No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
