you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
