so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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