Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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