the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
