Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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