My nipple is on Facebook.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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