My nipple is on Facebook.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
