I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
