you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
