You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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