you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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