is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
