Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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