Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
