Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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