honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
