I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
