Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
