He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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