you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
