Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize