Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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