Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
