I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
