Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
