The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
