I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize