It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
