Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
