Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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