Already got asked if we're dating
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize