I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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