So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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