i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
