Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
