She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Randomize
