i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
