the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Boobs are out for the taking
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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