There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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