if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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