i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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