So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
