Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
