I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
