The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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