i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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