am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
