Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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