I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
