So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
