so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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