Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
