I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize