yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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